Tuesday, February 22, 2011
{ 8:12 AM }
I'm having those mood swings. Something like angels versus demons. There's this voice in me that tells me to be nice. It's the one controlling my bad emotions. Is that what we call the superego trying to control the id? But the bad emotions always leaks out. It's just hard for me to hide it altogether. There is no balance point at all. It's just all good or all bad. Where is the ego here?
Being an aries, I like freedom and don't like the feeling of restriction. Sometimes all I need is some privacy. You understand? I would appreciate if you stop trying to know what I am doing all the time. I don't mean to be rude to you or what but it just pisses me off when you keep on asking, trying to find out my stuff.
I regret signing up for it. But what can I do now? Should I pull out? I'm afraid I'll make the team suffer. HOW?
I think I should just forget about you. I am mistaken, and I suppose I should not continue in this mistake. If it's meant to happen, it should have happened many years ago. I'm sorry for taking so much of your time.
I keep thinking back and whenever I remember about you and us, I feel so guilty. I keep thinking that I've hurt you. And maybe whatever happened is my fault. I just wish I could turn back time. But sorry doesn't turn back time. Sorry doesn't give us both another chance. I've hurt you and I cannot act as though I did nothing. I can't forgive myself and I think you wouldn't forgive me either. But I guess now there's karma. I'm suffering my own fate. Has it helped atone my sin?
Why can't I be like other people and move on regardless of my past. WHY! I SHALL REALLY MOVE ON. MOVE YOU THEO YOU STUPID GIRL!
Until I finally move on, I will continue to be this stupid girl.
Fall in love because you really love, not because you are lonely.